This is a hard time, I know. It’s hard for Dad and I too. It’s a transition time for us and those are always difficult to get through. You are starting your career and want to be independent and we want you to be independent, but we want you to get there the right way so that you don’t have problems later. We clash and bang against each other and you are getting your feelings hurt, I know. The biggest gift we can give ourselves is knowing ourselves, both our strengths and our weaknesses. It’s generally our weaknesses that we have trouble seeing and we don’t like having them pointed out to us. That is something that never goes away, but it’s good if we can step back and be objective about ourselves for a little while and listen to what people say to us and about us. It is something we need to do even as adults, ESPECIALLY as adults, so don’t think that Dad and I don’t do it also.
We really want what is best for you and I know that that is what you want to, but we see things from a very different perspective than you, the perspective of experience, you know, “Been there, done that.” You have a such a head start on life and Dad and I have given you every advantage that we can, but I think we have also handicapped you some. We never made you really work for anything and earn it, and I take most of the responsibility for that. Without ever having to earn and save for something, it’s harder to appreciate the things that you do have. You tend to take them for granted. You is general to all people as well as specific to you. Dad and I wanted you guys to have more than we did, but I think maybe we went about it the wrong way. We just gave, instead of teaching you to earn.
If you look carefully, I’m saying that no one is perfect. We all make mistakes, and hopefully, we all learn from them. Most importantly Mike, is we love you. You will make mistakes just like we did, and we will always be there to help you through. Sometimes things get tough even when we don’t make mistakes. It’s just the way life is, but no matter what, we want you to have the abilities to be able to handle the bad times with the good times and know that it is not the end of the world. These next few months are so important in some ways and such a small part of life in others. What you learn from them will help you through situations for the rest of your life, at least financially, maybe in other ways too.
Right now, you think we are being hard on you, but trust me, this is easy compared to what can happen. Please, don’t think we are picking on you. We will go through this same thing again, this transition, with your brother and sister. It may be easier or it may be harder, we don’t know because each of you is different and special. You are each so different from one another even though you do have some similarities too, and every personality has different issues, different strengths and weaknesses. We each have to learn our own, and as parents we have to also learn our children’s and help them to learn them also and use them to their own advantage. Like I said, this is a transition time and it will pass. Sooner than you think, we will have a new adult relationship with you, and it will be good.
Believe me, Dad and I can’t wait for the day when all three of you are independent and happy. It will be a transition for us too. A new stage of life with new ups and downs. Nothing gives us more joy than seeing you truly happy. We want you to experience the feelings of accomplishment and pride in a job well done and a life well-lived.
We love you, now and always,